Find Your Way Back
by daisy14
Summary: Sam and Grace meet the new man in Kay's life. UPDATED 0827! Read and review!
1. Irony

WHAT YOU WANTED  
  
by I3rownEyedGirl   
  
* *Author's Notes: Hey everyone! This is my first Passions fanfiction and first Kaguel. PLEASE let me know what you think and whether or not I should continue. FEEDBACK IS LOVED 3! Thanx!  
  
Kay watched the single solitaire diamond on her left finger reflect the early morning rays. Somehow, getting engaged to Miguel didn't feel quite like she expected it to. This was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of her life; she was going to be Mrs. Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald in a matter of months. On the surface, it seemed like all of Kay's plans were working out perfectly: she had the man, she had the ring, and in 6 months she would have a baby.  
  
She slipped out of bed, carefully avoiding the boxes and suitcases that littered her stark bedroom to stand in front of the dress mirror. The walls were bare, the closets were empty, and every sign that Kay had ever lived in her bedroom was gone. Because Charity was a bit unstable, Grace thought it safe to have Kay out of the house for a while, so she was moving in with Tabitha. Just until everyone got used to the new situation.   
  
Kay ran to the bathroom just in time to lift the toilet seat and avoid a mess. Hunched over the cold porcelain, she broke out into slight sweat, and choked down the bitter taste in her throat. She felt sick at all times of the day, but it was especially worse during the mornings.   
  
Rising, Kay rinsed her mouth out and splashed her face with cool water. Smoothing back her hair, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Yes, these were supposed to be the happiest moments of her life. And Kay wondered why she spent them sprawled out on the cold bathroom floor, all alone.  
  
_-_-_-_-_-_  
  
This was easily the WORST party she had ever been to. The silence hung thick and heavy in the air and Kay was getting really tired of dodging death glares. She didn't know why her mother insisted on throwing her this engagement party, Kay knew none of them were actually happy for her. She had schemed and plotted and sunk to so many lows to get Miguel. And in the process she had lost her friends, gotten herself pregnant right out of high school, and isolated herself from her family.   
  
The room suddenly felt like it was closing in on her, and Kay felt suffocated. Slipping out the back door, Kay decided to walk in the park. She had always admired the calm of the night and the fullness of the moon in the dark sky. There was something about the chirp of the crickets that soothed her...and she had been out here often in the past few days.   
  
As she was walking, Kay overheard the faint murmurings of a conversation. Curiosity getting the best of her, Kay followed the two voices. "Miguel...I can't be with you anymore." Charity sobbed. "You're marrying Kay,"   
  
"But I love you, Charity. I love you..." Miguel pleaded, desperation and longing and frustration evident in his tone of voice. "But you made love to Kay, Miguel..."   
  
"I thought I was making love to you, Charity. I'm miserable without you, please. I made a mistake...a big mistake. And I wish it never turned out this way." Miguel said. From her spot in the woods, Kay's heart shattered into a million pieces. She had sacrificed so much for Miguel, she would have done anything for him. And he wanted absolutely nothing to do with her.   
  
"How can you say that Miguel?" Kay whispered making her presence known. She steadied herself as she walked out of the trees on shaky legs. Unshed tears rimmed her baby blue eyes, "You're supposed to love me! I'm the one whose moved hell and high water for you, Miguel. You're supposed to love me..." Kay said, her voice breaking.   
  
"I'm sorry, Kay...but I'm in love with Charity," Miguel said.  
  
"This is all your fault, Charity! If you hadn't come to town, none of this would be happening. Miguel would be with me and everything would have worked out perfectly!" Kay screamed her hurt elevating her anger. Miguel's own anger grew as he watched Kay berate and blame the woman he loved.  
  
"You're wrong, Kay." he said looking her in the eyes. "I could never love you...I could never love such a cold, manipulative, heartless person like you, Kay..." The words cut into Kay, slashing wounds so deep within her heart. The tears flowed freely down her face, as Kay took off running. Dead leaves crunched under the weight of her feet as she weaved in and out of clusters of trees as fast as her legs could take her.   
  
The light came in scattered through the leaf canopy of the trees causing Kay to lose her footing and trip on an extended tree branch. She hit the ground with a thud, landing on her side as her pained scream pierced the dead of the night. She felt as if a thousand needles were being stabbed into her stomach. Kay forced herself to keep moving despite the pain. There was nothing keeping her in Harmony now. She had lost everything because of her selfishness; her family and friends hated her. Even Kay hated the person that she had become.  
  
She moved quickly and quietly in the night, careful not to make a sound. She placed the stack of envelopes on the kitchen table, and reached for the thermos in the cupboard where her mom and dad kept a few hundred dollars in case of emergencies. Kay winced as she put on her duffle back and stood at the threshold of her childhood home. "Good bye..." Kay said tearfully, closing the door behind her, and disappearing into the night.  
  
3 FEEDBACK IS LOVED!! 


	2. Heartbreaking News

Author's Note - Thanks so much to those who reviewed! I hope you like this chapter just as much as the first one. Kind of short, but you'll see why in the next one. I felt I needed to have a chapter explaining Kay's letters and the assumptions that she and the family make. Just wait til the next one and you'll know what I mean. lolz...sorry to confuse you.  
  
Find Your Way Back  
  
by I3rownEyedGirl  
  
An awkward silence filled the usually lively Bennett kitchen. Although it was well into the early afternoon, each member of the Bennett family was still dressed in their pajamas. Grace busied herself with making coffee and breakfast, anything to take her mind of the current situation. Charity, Jessica, John, and David sat around the breakfast table solemnly. No one knew quite what to say.   
  
Sam paced back and forth across the kitchen floor, clutching the letter in his hands. He had read the note a hundred times already. In fact, he knew the words by heart. He just didn't understand them. The letter was vague and to the point...it didn't give any clues to where Kay could have gone or how she was doing. "Please don't worry" she had said. "There is nothing keeping me in Harmony anymore..." was another thing she wrote. It was taking all of his control to remain strong for the family, and he was just wanted to know that his little girl was safe.  
  
Miguel burst into the kitchen, dressed in old jeans, his flannel shirt, and work boots. Pilar follwed in after him. It had taken this long to get a hold of him because he was up early in the mornings to work on the fishing boat. They had docked just minutes before, and Miguel wasted no time getting to the Bennetts. The envelope was on the counter, his name scrawled with curvy letters on sea green paper. Miguel wasted no time opening it, he felt all their eyes on him, watching his every move. He sensed their worry and desperation, and couldn't help but feel responsible. He felt his heart breaking as he read the words, not quite believing they were really there. "Last night, I fell in the park and landed on my stomach...hard. I'm sorry Miguel, but I just know that the pregnancy couldn't have survived that. I'm sorry about everything."  
  
Stray tears slid down his cheeks. "What? What is it?" Sam asked concerned pulling the letter from Miguel's hands and reading it for himself. He was silent and still, none of the news was sinking in just yet. "Mijo, what's wrong?" Pilar asked her distraught son.   
  
"She lost the baby, Mama." Miguel answered solemnly, holding onto his mother and crying softly in her arms.  
  
  
  
Let me know what you think! FEEDBACK PLEASE! 


	3. Not Forgotten

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I just love reading all of your feedback, I think that's why I am motivated to writemore chapters so quickly. Keep letting me know your thoughts. And thanks for the encouragement and kind words. Keep in mind this is a KAGUEL. And Kay is not up to any evil shcemes. And that the man in the passenger seat may not be what you think! lolz...I LOVE TEASERS!  
  
Find Your Way Back  
  
by I3rownEyedGirl  
  
Miguel sat in his usual table at the Book Cafe, a cup of black coffee in front of him, deep in thought. Outside he could see the vibrant yellows, oranges, and deep reds of the New England leaves as they fluttered to the ground, another sign of the burgeoning autumn season. This had become routine for him, to wake up before sunrise and have his coffee in solitude and silence. He would stay for an hour or so, then head to the Bennett home in time to pick up Charity.  
  
Miguel and Charity were both freshmen at Melbrook, a private college located in Harmony. Jessica was prospering in her senior year of high school still very much in love with Reese who attended college at the University of Maine, four hours away. Life had continued on despite Kay Bennett's absense. And Miguel would be wrong not to admit he was a little resentful for it.   
  
Outside the town square had begun to come to life as shop owners prepared for the day ahead. Miguel pulled out his wallet and placed a few dollar bills on the table, inside he kept her letter and picture folded up behind his driver's license. To the rest of the world Kay had ceased to exist, but Miguel refused to forget about her so easily. Every night he and Pilar would light a candle for her safe return. His mother refused to give up hope although it had been a little over a year and a half since anyone had heard anything from Kay. It was clear that Kay did not want to be found.  
  
--------@--------  
  
The sky became a vast canvas of hazy pinks and pale purples as the sun set. She had missed this sight, and the smell of the ocean as it lapped against the shore. This town was just as she remembered it, and she found comfort in it, in a nostalgic sense. She walked along the shore, the water washing away her footsteps in the sand, as she lost herself in the memories of her childhood. She didn't remember it being this cold at this time of year, but perhaps she had been spoiled by the west coast weather in which she'd been living.  
  
Kay looked adoringly at the sweet somber face of her baby as it slept. Her heart was loud against her chest and she could feel butterflies in her stomach. Kay had no idea what kind of reaction her family and friends would have to her unexpected return and the gigantic bomb she was about to drop. "Hey..." the young man in the passenger seat said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "It's going to be alright. You're doing the right thing." She looked into his eyes and nodded in agreement as she revved up the engine. Kay Bennett was back.  
  
DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE ME FEEDBACK! 


	4. Home Sweet Home

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I wanted to put so much in this chapter, but the storylines weren't flowing as well. So I'm gonna have to save the rest for another chapter. I am writing this as I go along, and this week I have had so many delays and setbacks. Hopefully, I will have the new chaps up every few days. (Let's hope!) Anyway, I hope this is satisfying. ENJOY!  
  
Find Your Way Back  
  
by I3rownEyedGirl  
  
Kay had stopped the car just a little ways down the street from the Bennett household. Kay breathed in deeply as she closed her eyes, counting the seconds before exhaling. Her palms were sweaty, her heart was racing in her chest, and if she didn't calm down soon she was sure to have a heart attack. The young man watched in amusement, "What are you doing?" he asked teasingly, choking back chuckles. "I'm just taking deep breaths...you know...to calm me down," Kay informed him slightly annoyed. "I learned it from that yoga instructor blonde you dated," she quipped.  
  
"Lisa?" Noah asked in bewilderment, and Kay nodded. "I broke up with her four months ago and I only went out with her for two weeks." Noah added. Kay rolled her eyes.  
  
"I liked Lisa, and after you broke it off with her, we became friends." Kay explained to her older brother. "I started taking her mommy and me classes at the gym." A short silence followed. "Uggh," Kay groaned softly. "It isn't working."  
  
Noah looked at his little sister and marveled at how much she had changed in such a short while. She wasn't that selfish little girl he once knew, Kay had transformed into a mature and loving young woman, strong for her son, but herself wracked with insecurities. "Go, Kay." Noah encouraged pointing towards the house. "You're doing the right thing...coming back to Harmony. I'll stay with him," he said looking at the sleeping boy in the backseat. Kay nodded, though she wasn't so sure she was making the right decision. "Here goes nothing," she sighed, crossing the street.  
  
_______@________  
  
From the front door, Kay could already smell the aroma of her mother's cooking. She missed those hearty home-cooked meals, especially the chicken soup Grace would always have waiting after a long day of ice skating on the lake. These were the kind of meals that warmed a person's soul through and through. She took one more deep breath before letting her fist connect with the oak door, knocking three times.  
  
The door opened slowly, the seconds turning into minutes, the minutes into hours; or so it felt, revealing Grace on the other end. Despite her rocky relationship with her mother, Kay still found comfort in the sight of her mother's face. Grace looked relatively similar as did her surroundings. But Kay hadn't expected plenty to change in the span of a year.   
  
"Hi, Mom." Kay said softly, unsure of what her mother's reactions would be. Grace continued to stare at the young woman before her, her jaw dropped. She blinked wildly, it just couldn't be. "Kay," Grace whispered back, tears in her eyes. She reached out to touch her daughter's cheek, "Oh my god!" she exclaimed. "It's really you..." she said smiling through the tears and pulling her daughter into her embrace.  
  
________@________  
  
She never thought she'd be able to see her daughter ever again. And yet, here she was, in her arms. Of everyone in the Bennett household, Grace had been the most unforgiving on herself. She didn't kniw she could have let her relationship with her first-born daughter deteriorate the way that it did. Perhaps she had been giving Charity special attention in the beginning, but Grace knew that no one was more important to her than her children. She was just so disappointed that Kay had left feeling like her own mother didn't love and support her. "Oh, Kay. I can't believe you're actually here with me. I'm so sorry for how it was before. No one is more important to me than you. I love you..." Grace said, tears now falling freely from her eyes.   
  
"I know, Mom." Kay whispered, holding onto her mother tighter. "I love you, too." she added, now also crying. "And I'm sorry for eveything that I did. I know that I hu-"  
  
"That's all in the past now," Grace said pulling away to brush the hair out of Kay's eyes. Her daughter's eyes were still haunting pools of crystal blue, just like she always remembered them. She had the same mane of chestnut hair, only slightly longer with pieces in the front framing her face. Grace pulled Kay into the living room, holding her hand all the while. Grace was afraid that if she let go, she'd lose her daughter all over again. "Sam! Jessica! Everyone!" she called excitedly.  
  
Sam and Jessica came bounding down the steps. "Kay?" her Dad questioned in disbelief upon seeing her. "It's me, Daddy." she replied, finding herself crying once again. It had been so long since Sam had heard her voice or seen her. It was all so surreal to him almost as if, he'd wake up the next morning and realize it was all a dream. Sam desperately hoped it wasn't so. It all seemed so surreal to Kay, too. She'd never seen members of her family be so genuinely happy to see her. She only hoped Miguel, Charity, and Simone would feel the same way.  
  
"You're just in time for dinner, Kay." Jessica smiled, placing her hand on her sister's shoulder. They all treated her warmly, but Kay felt somewhat awkward during the exchange. All her teenage life, she felt cast aside, and now, being showered by all this attention was making her feel slightly uncomfortable. Yes, they were her family. But, they had NO idea who she was at all.   
  
Her thoughts were interupted by Noah, standing at the door. "Have room for one more?" he asked, carrying his duffle bag on one arm and Kay's little boy on the other. This was almost too much to handle for one day; having both Kay and Noah back. It had been a long while since the Bennett clan had all been with each other. "Who wants to hug me first?" Noah exclaimed, dropping his bags on the floor. And placing the little boy on his feet. The little one year old walked excitedly on shaky steps unaware that all eyes were on him. "Momma, Momma!" he giggled excitedly tugging on Kay's pant leg. She reached for her child, hoisting him up to rest on her hip. By now, Noah was old news, and the room filled with silence. "There was no turning back now." Kay thought to herself. "Mom...Dad..." Kay spoke, her voice slightly shaky. "I'd like you to meet my son."  
  
  
  
FEEDBACK PLEASE! I LIVE FOR IT!  
  
In the next chapter:  
  
*Sam and Grace's reaction to the news  
  
*Miguel finds out that Kay is back in town  
  
*Miguel meets his son for the first time 


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